Transcript – Greed

[Quest of Ruin theme plays]

ANNOUNCER
Scroll and Dagger presents
Quest of Ruin
Episode Five
Greed

[Theme fades to urban background noise, with sounds of stationery and dice in the foreground]

GAME MASTER
Hello and welcome to Quest of Ruin, the post-apocalyptic fantasy roleplaying podcast. I am your host and Game Master and joining me, once again, are these players.

PLAYERS
[varied greetings]

GAME MASTER
So, when we left off, you guys were in the caves of a creature that you had thought to be a wyrm but, as it turned out, was something more. Something that none of you could recognise. You managed to kill it and then Gelebrien, the elf warrior that you’d come to rescue, led you to the creature’s treasure hoard. 

GINA
Yep.

WILL
Then I found that weird gold snake thing, what was it again?

GAME MASTER
Oh, you noticed that all the gold had kind of fused together and, in one area of the room, is starting to twist into this snake-like form. 

LEAH
Which Gelebrien did not like. 

WILL
Oh yeah, she was angry about it? 

GAME MASTER
I believe I said she was looking at the thing with total hatred. 

MATT
Any reason why? 

GAME MASTER
Well you can roll for your knowledge, if you like. 

[Matt grabs a die from his collection and rolls it]

MATT
That would be a twelve.

GAME MASTER
Yeah, you’ve got no idea. You don’t know what this thing could be and so you don’t understand why she would have any such strong feelings about it. 

MATT
Right. 

GAME MASTER
Now, quickly, everyone do me a roll for observation. 

[The players all grab dice and roll]

GINA
Seven.

LEAH
Three…

ROSIE
Nine!

MATT
Twen- no. Not twenty, sorry. That’s a twelve.

WILL
Sixteen.

GAME MASTER
Okay, Laethar, you notice first, but it does become apparent to all of you that this form is not a lifeless piece of metal.

[The players all react with surprise and impending anticipation. Transition music with dice rolls plays, and sounds of this new creature, roaring weakly, fade up]

LAETHAR
(faintly) Everybody back up. 

[The party hurry over the hoard to get away.]

LAETHAR
(pointedly) Slowly!

[The footsteps continue, slower.]

BALINK 
What…. what is that? 

YAELA
Binks, get over here! 

[Balink scurries over the hoard, coins scattering beneath them, the creature lets out another growl]

VURIETH
Laethar? Laethar can you-

AIOLIN
Vurieth, stay back 

VURIETH
But it is going to attack-

LAETHAR
Get back, you idiot! 

[Vurieth begins running across the hoard, their panting fading somewhat into the distance]

YAELA
Vurieth, no! 

[Vurieth begins the incantation of a spell over the creature’s growls[

VURIETH
– discutio! 

[A snap of lightning, a roar of annoyance or pain from the creature, the spell ricochets off the rocks inside the cave]

VURIETH
Oh dear. 

BALINK
It just bounced off! 

GELEBRAND
Run! 

LAETHAR
I will not run! 

GELEBRIEN
Don’t be a fool! Let me-

VURIETH
Laethar! 

LAETHAR
Do not-

[In the background, the creature is wriggling, shifting the gold pieces beneath it]

GELEBRAND
Stop! Just… look. It’s not coming after us, it’s just… writhing around 

AIOLIN
Hey, he’s right.

YAELA
Why isn’t it moving? 

[The creature continues its writhing, letting out a quieter roar]

AIOLIN
I don’t think it can. Look, it only has one arm. 

VURIETH
And no eyes. 

GELEBRAND
If we keep back, and keep quiet, I think it will go back to sleep. 

VURIETH
That thing sleeps!? 

AIOLIN
I think that’s a figure of speech. 

GELEBRIEN
You’re such a coward, we should kill it now! 

LAETHAR
No, I think your brother’s right. 

GELEBRIEN
I will not-

[Gelebrien begins to stride forward]

LAETHAR
Wait!

[A small scuffle as Laethar grabs her]

GELEBRIEN
Let go of me! 

LAETHAR
Shh. Just- everyone. Wait. 

[They wait. Slowly, the creature buries itself inside the treasure pile, letting out a final growl]

BALINK
Is it… is it gone? 

LAETHAR
No. It’s just there. 

[A dark tone shadows Gelebrien’s words]

GELEBRIEN
We should kill it now! 

GELEBRAND
I’m not sure if we can. You saw what happened to that Ashlander’s spell. 

GELEBRIEN
So, we should just leave it? 

GELEBRAND
Perhaps for now, until we know what we can do about it 

[Gelebrien huffs in frustration and stalks off, the dark tone fading with her]

GELEBRAND
Sister! 

[Gelebrand follows after her, and Vurieth makes their way back to the party]

VURIETH
You had me scared there for a moment, my friend. 

LAETHAR
You need not have worried. 

VURIETH
It was right on top of you 

LAETHAR
I would have handled it. 

VURIETH
I did not mean to imply that you- 

LAETHAR
Let’s just… Go through this treasure pile shall we? 

VURIETH
Of course. 

LAETHAR
Wait. Where did the other two go? 

YAELA
Back to Stonehelm, if they’ve got any sense. Not sure why you’re worrying about them when we have all this to look through. I mean, where on earth do we start? 

AIOLIN
If no one else minds, I would like to take a look at those books over there. 

BALINK
I thought it was just a pile of wood. 

AIOLIN
(Chuckling softly) I take that means no one will mind? 

BALINK
Nah, not this time. I’ll let you have ’em. 

AIOLIN
How kind of you. 

[Aiolin walks across the treasure to the books]

BALINK
Well, there’s some fancy looking chests over there, I think I’ll have a poke around. 

YAELA
Be careful. 

BALINK
‘Course! 

[Balink heads off in a different direction]

YAELA
How about you, Vurieth? 

VURIETH
Actually, I am too interested in those books so, I think I will go and join Aiolin, see what we can find. I might be lucky and find a spellbook. 

[Vurieth heads in the same direction as Aiolin]

YAELA
Alright, call us if you need any help. 

LAETHAR
And you, Yaela? 

YAELA
Me? If I’m honest, I don’t care much for all this. Besides, I want to keep an eye on that thing. 

LAETHAR
You think it’s another…whatever that thing in the tunnel was? 

YAELA
Maybe. Perhaps it’s young? 

LAETHAR
Hm, perhaps I should stay here with you. 

YAELA
Oh come one, you must have seen something you like? 

LAETHAR
Oh. Well, I suppose there were some pieces of armour that looked rather interesting

YAELA
(amused) Well go on then. This thing doesn’t need both of us watching it. 

LAETHAR
Well, if you’re sure. 

[Laethar makes his way across the treasure hoard. The atmosphere of the cave fades away, then fades back up with Aiolin and Vurieth sifting through books]

AIOLIN
A Bestiary of Daeryn! Near perfect condition, this book was rare before the Harbinger’s war. And here; The Meditations of King Aurig! I’ve only ever seen one other copy of this. 

VURIETH
I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many rare books in one place. This one looks interesting. The Lament of… Bloody Tears.

AIOLIN
Uh. I wouldn’t let Laethar see that. 

VURIETH
Why not? 

AIOLIN
Well, that’ll be about the Dagor Niragar. The greatest battle in the War of Destruction. And he was there for it. 

VURIETH
Ah, I see. I take it things did not go well? 

AIOLIN
Not so much. Remind me to tell you the whole story some time, when Monrunn’s not around. It’s not something I think he’d care to remember.

VURIETH
Hm, I see, I see. 

AIOLIN
I think it’s probably the reason he’s got such a thing about humans- ogghh, ugh. 

VURIETH
What is it? 

AIOLIN
Oh, nothing really. The pages of this one are all dry and stained. Just realised it’s blood. 

VURIETH
What? 

AIOLIN
Yeah, and there’s a hole running through it. Can’t see this one fetching much of a price. But, maybe that was the idea. 

VURIETH
I do not understand. 

AIOLIN
Look here.

[Aiolin flips a couple of pages]

AIOLIN (ctd)
In the front, someone wrote on the page. Looks like they did it after the pages were soaked. 

VURIETH
I do not recognise the writing. 

AIOLIN
It’s Sarnorin, an old human script from out west. It says “Mine forever”.

[An ominous music begins to play]

VURIETH
A curious thing indeed… But, not so curious as… as this.

[Vurieth picks up another book]

AIOLIN
What is it? Is that even elvish script? Doesn’t look like one I know. 

VURIETH
I am not surprised. This is the tongue of Calenann, the language of my ancestors. 

AIOLIN
Blood and Bone! I thought Calenarin elves never wrote anything down.

VURIETH
They rarely did, but they sometimes recorded knowledge if they deemed it high enough value. 

AIOLIN
So, can you read it? 

[Vurieth begins to slowly flip through the book]

VURIETH
Not fluently. But, from what I can gather, this is a book of Calenarin knowledge. Forest lore, spells, rituals. This book must be one of a kind. 

AIOLIN
You don’t say… 

[The ominous music fades down, the ambient sounds of the cave fading up on Laethar walking through the hoard]

LAETHAR
Where could those two have gotten to? 

YAELA
Laethar? 

LAETHAR
Gah! 

[They both laugh]

YAELA
Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you 

LAETHAR
No, it’s quite alright. I should have been paying attention. 

YAELA
You still looking for Gelebrand and Gelebrien? 

LAETHAR
I was. I was hoping to learn more about this King Iswald. 

YAELA
Not sure why you care, he sounds a worm to me. Locking himself up safe in his castle, leaving his people to die.

LAETHAR
But that’s exactly it. I’ve been thinking about this ever since Gelebrand told us about him and, well, I never met the lords of Ostigond myself, but I knew them by reputation. And all of this locking himself away business, it doesn’t seem right. 

YAELA
Well, yes, of course. 

LAETHAR
No, I mean it’s out of character. The lords of Stonehelm were renowned as great and generous who put the people before themselves. 

YAELA
Hmm, I suppose when you put it that way… Well, I think they left so you’ll have to wait until we get back to the city. 

LAETHAR
You know the way back, I hope? 

YAELA
Who do you think you’re talking to? I could retrace our steps in the dark. Though, the others might not appreciate that.

LAETHAR
True enough. How long do we have? 

YAELA
Not long, I don’t think. Sunset can only be a few hours off 

LAETHAR
Right. I’ll get through the last of this armour, then we can go. 

YAELA
Is any of it usable? 

LAETHAR
Not as much as I might have hoped. 

YAELA
Well I guess that makes sense. Down here, underground, in a musty tunnel. I’m amazed it’s not all rusted.

LAETHAR
That’s the funny thing, none of it’s rusted at all.

[The ominous music from before returns]

YAELA
Wait, really?

LAETHAR
Well look at this suit here. 

[Laethar picks up a suit of armour from the pile]

YAELA
Wow. That thing looks brand new.

LAETHAR
Exactly. No rust, not even a dent from being down here with that creature.

YAELA
So… what’s the problem? Why can’t you use it?

LAETHAR
Because, well, look. 

[Laethar bends the metal, which gives out a distressed squeal]

YAELA
What the…? 

LAETHAR
You see? It’s completely flimsy. 

YAELA
So why? 

LAETHAR
I think someone tampered with it somehow. And it’s not just this suit. Most of the other pieces I’ve found are the same. 

YAELA
But, why? How? 

LAETHAR
No idea. Closest I can guess is, whoever owned this armour didn’t want it being used. 

[There’s a short pause]

YAELA
…I’m going to round up the others. 

LAETHAR
Mhm.

[Yaela walks away, scattering coins beneath her, as Laethar continues to pick through the pile, the sounds of which fade away, with the ominous music fading too, only to fade back up on Balink muttering to himself, rummaging]

BALINK
And then I could have that, ohh and this, and this, ooohh and this! And these! And them. Ooohh this’ll do nicely. And this, AND this!

YAELA
(in the distance) Binks!

[Balink struggles to pull at something in the pile, shifting coins around him]

YAELA
(in the distance) Binks!

BALINK
And– this!

[Balink successfully pulls out whatever he was pulling at, causing a clatter as he falls over]

YAELA
(closer) Binks!

BALINK
Wooow.

YAELA
(closer again) Binks? 

BALINK
(panting) Yeah and this, and this and this and this… 

YAELA
(coming closer) Binks? You ready to head off? 

BALINK
This too, and this, this and this, this, this, aand this-

YAELA
Hey! Are you ready to go? 

BALINK
Go? Go!? Nooo! No we can’t go! We- the- there’s so much more! 

YAELA
You want to take ALL of this? I don’t think we have enough bags. 

BALINK
Need more, need more. There’s so much. 

[Balink starts to scrabble through the hoard again]

YAELA
What on earth is up with you? You have more than enough here, we can’t carry any more.

BALINK
No no no no no, yes. Yes, I need it! 

YAELA
Look, I will go and ask the others if they have any more room in their bags, but if not then you’re going to have to make some cuts, alright? 

BALINK
And this, and this… and this… 

YAELA
(exasperated) Honestly.

BALINK
And this! And this and this and this!

[Yaela moves off, the music and the sound of Balink rummaging fades away. A stronger version of the music fades up, more aggressive, as Vurieth and Aiolin grapple]

AIOLIN
Let go! 

VURIETH
No! You let go! 

AIOLIN
I saw it first! 

VURIETH
You did not! 

[Yaela approaches]

YAELA
What is going on? 

AIOLIN
Give it here! Something like this belongs in a library. 

VURIETH
I will not! This is a piece of my peoples’ history! 

AIOLIN
Give it to me or I’ll take it off you. 

VURIETH
I would like to see you try, Orric!

AIOLIN
Ha! You serious? You think you can take me? 

VURIETH
I believe brains outweigh brawn in most cases, yes. 

AIOLIN
Well you’re in trouble then, ‘cause I have both and you clearly have neither. 

VURIETH
Oh yes? Then how is this?

YAELA
Vurieth, No! 

VURIETH
Obcillo!

[A flash of magic, Aiolin crashes into the hoard with a grunt of pain]

VURIETH
How’s that for neither!? 

AIOLIN
(snarling) I’m gonna crush you into pulp! 

[Aiolin charges at Vurieth, tacking them and they continue to scrap]

YAELA
Stop it! Stop it, both of you! 

[Laethar approaches]

LAETHAR 
Wha-what’s happening? 

YAELA
Aiolin and Vurieth are fighting. 

LAETHAR
What? Why? 

YAELA
I don’t know, they just started attacking each other! 

[Another spell is cast in the background]

YAELA (ctd)
We need to stop them!

LAETHAR
And how do you propose we do that? 

YAELA
I don’t know, just break it up before someone gets really hu-

[A magical thunderclap, Yaela yells]

LAETHAR
Yaela!

AIOLIN
You stupid, arrogant Lul Gijak-ishi! 

VURIETH
What did you just call me?! 

AIOLIN
Ha! Those ‘brains’ aren’t looking so good now are they?

[Aiolin grunts has he is hit by another spell from Vurieth]

VURIETH
Do not even dare to-

[Vurieth chokes as Aiolin punches them in the throat]

YAELA
Stop it! Stop it, both of you! What is the matter with you?! 

[Laethar grunts and scuffles has he grabs Vureith]

LAETHAR
That’s enough, Ashlander!

VURIETH
Get off me! 

YAELA
Aiolin, stop! Just stop! Calm down!

AIOLIN
Out of my way, Yaela! I’m gonna flay that thieving little Glob Thos! 

LAETHAR
I’m not letting go until you- 

[Laethar yells in pain as Vurieth hits him with a spell, Laethar releases them and they run a little ways off]

YAELA
I do not understand. What on earth caused this? Would you just stay still, let me get a look at you.

AIOLIN
I am fine, let me GO! 

YAELA
Not a chance. Aiol-Aiolin! This is not like you, talk to me. 

LAETHAR
Hold him there. I’ll deal with the Ashlander.

[Laethar crosses over to where Vurieth is]

VURIETH
You will not have it! It is mine! 

LAETHAR
I don’t know what you’re talking about! 

VURIETH
Liar! You want it for yourself, like that damned orc! I’ll KILL you! 

LAETHAR
Don’t be ridiculous, Ashlander.

[Laethar draws his sword, in case]

VURIETH
You doubt me? Still!?

LAETHAR
I don’t doubt your strength, but I know that-

VURIETH
You admit that I have strengths, then? 

LAETHAR
…What? 

VURIETH
You just said so.

LAETHAR
Well, of course you have strengths. I have already said you are a capable battle mage.

VURIETH
It is still good to hear.

LAETHAR
What is the matter with you? 

VURIETH
It is just nice to know that you have finally come around, my friend.

[The aggressive music fades away as they talk]

LAETHAR
I haven’t. And don’t call me that.

VURIETH
(laughs) Whatever you say. 

[Laethar sheaths his sword]

LAETHAR
Well, you don’t seem as keen to attack me anymore. 

VURIETH
Um… Attack you? 

LAETHAR
You and Aiolin were about ready to kill each other. For what? Some mouldy old books? 

VURIETH
Uh… I… Um…

LAETHAR
Look at the state of you.

VURIETH
I- 

LAETHAR
Look at the state of Aiolin!

VURIETH
Wanderer preserve me. Aiolin! I am so sorry, I do not know what ca-

AIOLIN
(in the distance) When I get my hands on you!

LAETHAR
We should maybe give him some space. Let him calm down a bit 

VURIETH
I think you’re right 

AIOLIN
Don’t you walk away from me, Skraefa! Just wait till I catch you!

[Vurieth and Laethar walk away, Aiolin’s voice fading down with the sounds of the cave, which fade back up again to Vurieth and Laethar talking]

LAETHAR
Look, just sit down. Here, sit. 

[They both sit on the hoard, coins skittering]

LAETHAR (ctd)
What is wrong with you?! 

VURIETH
I… I do not know what came over me… 

LAETHAR
All of that for a book? 

VURIETH
It is not just “a book”. It is a Calenarin grimoire. 

LAETHAR
Wh- Well… by the gods. 

VURIETH
Exactly. You, of all people, should understand the value of something like that. Especially to me.

LAETHAR
Well, even so.

VURIETH
I know, I know. It ‘s no excuse. I don’t know what came over me.

LAETHAR
Well, whatever it was clearly came over Aiolin too. Can’t say he was exactly innocent in all of that. So, a true Calenarin grimoire? 

VURIETH
Yes, indeed. 

LAETHAR
Do you still have it? 

VURIETH
I… do…

[The ominous music plays quietly]

LAETHAR
May I?

VURIETH
I… Uh. Of- of course. 

[Vurieth hands the book over to Laethar, and breathes a sigh of relief. The ominous music ends] 

LAETHAR
You feeling alright? 

VURIETH
Yes, yes I think so.

[Laethar begins to flip through the book]

LAETHAR
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this script. 

VURIETH
You can read it? 

LAETHAR
Not truly. But all the elven tongues share a root language so I can probably make out the main points.

 VURIETH
Perhaps we might work together to translate it? 

LAETHAR
Oho no, I’m not getting involved with this. Do what you like with the book, but you do it yourself. 

[Laethar hands the book back over to Vurieth]

VURIETH
Very well. 

LAETHAR
Come on, Aiolin should have calmed down by now. 

[They get to their feet and begin to walk back, the ambience fading down and then back up to Aiolin and Yaela, Aiolin breathing heavily]

YAELA
Are you feeling better now? 

AIOLIN
Yes, uh… Yes. I… Oh, Blood and Fire, what did I do? 

YAELA
It’s okay. 

AIOLIN
No, it isn’t. I went at Vurieth over a book? How could I do that? 

YAELA
What was this book? 

AIOLIN
Oh, a very rare tome. I believed it should be made safe in the library. But, it was linked to the old elves of Calenann, so Vurieth felt it was rightfully theirs. Which I do agree with-

YAELA
If you agree, then why fight over it? 

AIOLIN
I agree now. But at the time, I just wanted it so badly, I couldn’t think. 

YAELA
Well, I’m sure Vurieth feels as bad about it as you do. 

AIOLIN
I hope not. 

YAELA
And they’ve it back now, right? 

AIOLIN
Yes, they-

[A large crash cuts Aiolin off]

YAELA
Oh, what now!?

[The noises fade out then back up, the same crash plays again, but in Vurieth and Laethar’s earshot]

VURIETH
What was that? 

LAETHAR
With our luck, it’s another of those creatures. Come on, quick. 

[They begin to run across the treasure pile, the ambience fading out. The aggressive music from earlier fades in, as we join Balink, who is setting off explosives around him]

YAELA
Binks! What are you doing?! 

BALINK
Sending you damn thieves away! This is mine, all mine, and I won’t have you stealing any of it! 

[He sets off another explosive has Laethar and Vurieth approach]

LAETHAR
Balink? What do you think you’re doing?! 

AIOLIN
Watch out! 

VURIETH
Oh sands preserve-

[A louder explosion cuts them off, they and Laethar react with a yelp]

BALINK
Get away, go on, get out all of you! This is all mine! 

YAELA
Binks-

[He interrupts her with another explosive]

YAELA
BINKS! It’s US! It’s your friends! We are not going to steal from you! 

BALINK
Liars!

LAETHAR
Yaela, duck! 

[Another explosion, a grunt from Laethar and a yelp from Yaela as he pushes her aside]

VURIETH
(breathing heavily) How can we snap him out of it? 

LAETHAR
How should I know? 

VURIETH
Well you and Yaela helped me and Aiolin. 

LAETHAR
I have no idea how. 

YAELA
We should get him out of this place. 

AIOLIN
We need to get to him first! 

VURIETH
I may have an idea. 

LAETHAR
Oh gods. 

YAELA
Oh, hush Laethar! Go on, Vurieth.

VURIETH
Just… keep him talking, focussed on you all. Let me try something. 

LAETHAR
You better know what you are doing, Ashlander. 

VURIETH
Of course. I am a capable mage, if you will recall? 

[Laethar groans as Yaela lets out a surprised chuckle]

YAELA
Excuse me? 

LAETHAR
It’s nothing. Just… Just get on with it then. 

VURIETH
Yes, my friend. 

[Vurieth moves away]

AIOLIN
All right, I’ll start. Balink! If you keep throwing those, you’re going to wake up that creature again! 

LAETHAR
Yes. And then we’ll all be in trouble! 

YAELA
Binks, please? Calm down! 

BALINK
No! No, I know what you want! You want it all for yourselves! 

[Vurieth begins muttering an incantation in the background]

LAETHAR
We most certainly do not! 

AIOLIN
We’re only trying to help you! 

VURIETH
Intensio! 

[Vurieth casts their spell, hitting Balink, who yelps and falls to the floor. The music stops abruptly, as Balink convulses in the coins]

VURIETH
Oh no! 

LAETHAR
What did you do to him!?

VURIETH
I…. I only meant to stun him, so we could carry him out.

LAETHAR
“Stun him”! Does this look like a STUNNING spell to you!? 

VURIETH
I-

LAETHAR
Typical of a human, you never think, do you!? You believe magic a simple tool like banging rocks together!

YAELA
Laethar! 

LAETHAR
This is exactly why wilding magic-

YAELA
LAETHAR! That Is enough! Binks is out cold; we need to get out of here!

VURIETH
Yes… that would be… yes.

[Aiolin walks over and grabs Balink]

AIOLIN
I’ve got him. That way then, come on. 

[The party walk away through the treasure, except Vurieth]

VURIETH
(quietly) I am so sorry.

[Transition music with dice rolls plays and urban ambience replaces the cave]

GAME MASTER
Okay, so… Balink, you take ten points of non-lethal damage.

LEAH
Oof. 

MATT
(amused) Sorry. Frickin’ miscast. 

GAME MASTER
And you are now unconsc- You alright? 

LEAH
(woozy) Yeah… long day at work I guess. 

GAME MASTER
Oh, right, okay. Well that seems like a good place to stop anyway. You can go have a lie down if you like. Anyway, thanks for listening everyone. Join us next episode for the next chapter of the story. Until then, goodbye. 

PLAYERS
[various farewells]

[The end theme plays and the Announcer recites the credits]