Transcript – Wandering in the Woods

[Quest of Ruin theme plays]

ANNOUNCER
Scroll and Dagger presents:
Quest of Ruin
Episode Twenty-One
Wandering in the Woods

[Theme fades to urban background noise, with sounds of stationery and dice in the foreground.]

GAME MASTER
Hello and welcome to Quest of Ruin, the post-apocalyptic fantasy roleplaying podcast. I am your host and Game Master and we’re picking up where we left off last week with an unconscious Vurieth on the road out of Kapulbaur.

WILL
Right, yeah, so, what happened exactly?

MATT
I’m guessing it’s something to do with my not-quite-vampirism?

ROSIE
Sure, makes sense.

GINA
Wait, why would vampirism make blood leak out of their arms?

LEAH
Something to do with their magic, maybe?

GAME MASTER
Well, these are indeed the questions that need answering.

ROSIE
But you’re not gonna give them to us, I’m guessing.

GAME MASTER
Well I’m not just gonna tell you, if that’s what you’re asking.

ROSIE
What happened with those books you got from Barad-Angol?

WILL
Wait, where?

ROSIE
[impatiently] The library in the Fae.

WILL
Oh right, yeah.

MATT
Well the one in common was all the High Blood families, you said, so not much help about the big, stone thing.

GAME MASTER
The monolith.

MATT
Sure, whatever. And Balink was translating the one that was written in Deeper.

LEAH
No, I finished that, remember? Right before we arrived in Kapulbaur.

MATT
Oh yeah. Don’t think I’ve had a chance to read it.

WILL
Well you’re not gonna be able to if you’re unconscious.

GAME MASTER
All the blood that had been swirling like a cloud around their arms began to be pulled back in. Vurieth’s regained all the blood that they lost and is now coming around.

GINA
Well that’s… nice.

GAME MASTER
It definitely was not.

MATT
But okay, cool, so I’m coming around…

[Transitioning back to the road outside Kapulbaur, Vurieth breathes heavily.]

AIOLIN
You alright there?

VURIETH
What… what happened to me?

LAETHAR
You fainted, Ashlander.

VURIETH
What…? My blood –

BALINK
It’s back inside you now. Soon as you went out, it started soaking back into you… like a sponge.

VURIETH
That is… reassuring.

YAELA
Are you feeling alright? Can you stand?

VURIETH
I think so. Cannot help but feel a little nervous though.

BALINK
Well your arms aren’t glowing red. That’s a good sign.

VURIETH
… I suppose so.

LAETHAR
You think this is something to do with that ritual?

AIOLIN
I’d have thought that was obvious. We should have been focusing on this, I suppose, but what with one thing and another…

BALINK
Oh well, I’m sorry my sister getting taken into an evil cave was such an inconvenience for you.

YAELA
No one’s saying that. But there’s no reason we can’t get back to it now, right? That book you translated, Binks, was there anything about ancient vampires or the monolith in there?

BALINK
Not that I could tell. Just a bunch of old stories about vampires who lived underground.

LAETHAR
Thirsters probably. Not exactly helpful.

YAELA
So that just leaves the third book.

VURIETH
The one written in Arwaena.

AIOLIN
Yes, the one we have no way of reading.

LAETHAR
Well no one’s spoken the Dawn Tongue in centuries. And, thanks to the War, you’re not likely to find any scholars who could translate.

AIOLIN
True… but perhaps…

YAELA
What?

AIOLIN
How far are we from Ilorodrim, do you think?

YAELA
I don’t know. Maybe a little more than a hundred miles?

AIOLIN
Hmm alright so three, no, probably four days to the mountains, if we take the Malrrug Road. And then maybe another three days, if we’re lucky and the pass of Imradil is open to us…

LAETHAR
What are you talking about?

AIOLIN
The Sonrai College, or what’s left of it. It stands not far from the mountains of Ilorodrim.

YAELA
Alright… but how does that help us?

AIOLIN
The only man I ever met who could read Arwaena was Master Sonrai.

VURIETH
But… my friend… you said he was…

AIOLIN
Yes, yes, I know. And he probably is. But he kept journals, books and grimoires, all locked away in secret vaults beneath the college. The Horde wouldn’t have been able to get in there… I think.

LAETHAR
You think?

AIOLIN
Well I haven’t been back there since the college was attacked, have I? By the time the War ended and the Horde broke up, I’d set up the Remnant Library and didn’t have time.

BALINK
But this stuff might not even be there anymore?

AIOLIN
… it’s possible.

LAETHAR
Not much of a hope.

YAELA
True. But, it’s more of a hope than I see anywhere else. Alright. We can live off the land as much as possible, make our rations last. I think the Sonrai College is our best bet if we want to help Vurieth.

AIOLIN
Agreed.

VURIETH
Yes, I think you are right.

BALINK
Yup!

LAETHAR
Oh very well.

YAELA
Alright. West we go then.

[As the group begins to walk, Vurieth mutters incantations under their breath, and their magic fizzles and sparks out.]

YAELA
[calling] Vurieth? Is everything alright?

VURIETH
I cannot… my magic, it is not working properly.

YAELA
Well… you did just pass out. Perhaps you need some time to come back to normal?

VURIETH
Perhaps…

YAELA
Would you like to walk with me?

VURIETH
I… no. Thank you. I would like some time with my thoughts.

YAELA
Very well. Try not to worry too much.

[She moves up to walk with Laethar. Vurieth continues mumbling, and magic pops ineffectually.]

VURIETH
That is not right… Alright, alright. Let’s try… something simple. Something small. A flame. Come on. One tiny flame. Manageable, simple. Come on. Parvignis!

[Nothing happens.]

VURIETH
Alright… perhaps something else… an electric lash maybe? Parfulgur!

[There’s a sizzling sound followed by an enormous crack of thunder.]

AIOLIN
Blood and Bone, what was that?

LAETHAR
Ashlander, what do you think you are playing at?

VURIETH
I… I am sorry… that… that was not supposed to happen.

BALINK
It’s alright, not like there’s anyone out here to notice.

LAETHAR
We cannot know that for certain.

BALINK
You sure? ‘Cause I’m looking around and all I’m seeing is rocks and dirt and dry weeds for miles.

AIOLIN
He’s got a point there.

LAETHAR
All the same!

YAELA
Just, perhaps take more care, alright? We do not want to attract attention, as unlikely as that may be.

VURIETH
I know. I understand. I apologise. My magic is… I shall fix it.

LAETHAR
Alright. Let’s carry on then.

[They continue to walk, and Vurieth is getting a little frantic.]

VURIETH
[hushed] Come on, one flame, one tiny flame! Please, come on! Come on!

[A crack of lightning shoots out of Vurieth’s hand, and then back into their hand, electrocuting them. They shriek in pain.]

AIOLIN
Blood, Vurieth! You trying to blow us up?

VURIETH
No, no I promise you –

YAELA
What in the Fae was that?

VURIETH
I do not –

BALINK
Hey, did you nab one of my bang-bangs?

VURIETH
[teeth gritted] No! I did not! I was trying –

LAETHAR
Vurieth, your arm!

YAELA
Oh no!

AIOLIN
Woah…

BALINK
Cool!

YAELA
Let me help with that, I have some sap that should help the burning.

VURIETH
Thank you.

LAETHAR
So you, what,… struck yourself with lightning?

VURIETH
I assure you, it was not on purpose.

YAELA
Hold still, let me…

[She trails off and begins to rub the ointment into their arm.]

VURIETH
Thank you.

BALINK
Look at it, it’s all black and crispy!

VURIETH
Only you could find joy in such things, little one.

BALINK
[laughing] Yeah well, you should see mine! I got a proper collection of burns now.

VURIETH
Why does that not surprise me?

LAETHAR
Come on, let’s keep going. There’s a valley not far from here, we can stop there for the night.

[Vurieth mutters incantations around the fire, and none work.]

BALINK
Still not working?

VURIETH
No. I have never been unable to control it before…

BALINK
So… I was right, wasn’t I?

VURIETH
About what?

BALINK
Whoosh.

VURIETH
I do not understand.

BALINK
Your magic, remember? I told ya in the cave, it weren’t making the same noises no more.

VURIETH
Oh, of course! “Whoosh,” how could I forget?

BALINK
So, it’s still wrong isn’t it?

VURIETH
[close to tears] I am afraid so. A distinct lack of, ah, “whoosh.”

BALINK
Don’t worry, we’ll get it back for you.

VURIETH
I only wish that I had your confidence, my friend.

BALINK
You don’t gotta be confident. I can do that bit for you. All you gotta do is tell us if anything changes. Yeah?

VURIETH
I shall.

BALINK
All good then. How’s the teeth?

VURIETH
[baring their teeth] You tell me.

BALINK
Hmmm… fang ones might be a tad longer… could just be the light.

VURIETH
You think so? I cannot tell…

BALINK
Well, it don’t matter much does it? Just means you’ll have an easier time chewing!

VURIETH
[chuckles] I suppose so.

BALINK
And you don’t got no hankering for chowing down on any of us do you?

VURIETH
Not at all.

BALINK
Well then! You’re gonna be fine. I can tell.

VURIETH
Thank you, my little friend.

BALINK
You’re welcome. My slightly bigger friend.

[A short, comfortable pause.]

VURIETH
It was nice to see the other side of you, in your hometown.

BALINK
Other side?

VURIETH
Yes, the big brother side, your family, your life. I fear we have all been a little lapse in finding out anything about you.

BALINK
S’okay, I didn’t tell you anything.

VURIETH
Which is exactly why we should have asked.

BALINK
You’ve got other things going on, all of you. And it doesn’t matter. I wanted it all private anyways.

VURIETH
Will you accept an apology for not trying, though?

BALINK
Sure, but it’s not needed.

VURIETH
Be that as it may, I am still sorry.

BALINK
Shut up.

[Balink elbows Vurieth.]

VURIETH
[laughs] Hey!

[The rest of the party approach.]

YAELA
We should get some sleep. We still have a long way to go. Laethar, will you take first watch?

LAETHAR
No problem.

AIOLIN
Come on, you heard the lady.

BALINK
Alright, alright.

[In the morning, they rustle a map.]

LAETHAR
If we make good progress today, there should be plenty of time to scout out a decent place to set up camp by tomorrow evening.

YAELA
That sounds like a good plan. The mountains are ferocious at night.

VURIETH
Laethar, I may be mistaken, but I do not remember you mentioning a forest in our route.

LAETHAR
That’s because I didn’t. This part of Nan Amrun is mostly wetland. The nearest forest is twenty miles away.

VURIETH
Then, you will forgive me my friend, what is that?

LAETHAR
What the…?

BALINK
Ohhh!

YAELA
It’s…

AIOLIN
A forest.

VURIETH
It smells… familiar.

BALINK
Think you messed up the route, Laethar?

LAETHAR
I couldn’t have. We’re on the Malrrug Road, the only way it goes is west to Ilorodrim.

BALINK
So… you’re saying there’s a forest where it shouldn’t be?

LAETHAR
Impossible.

YAELA
There’s something… strange about this forest. I feel… something.

LAETHAR
Even from here?

YAELA
Yes.

AIOLIN
Is it a Fae type something or…a something else type something?

VURIETH
It’s not Fae. I know what Yaela means, I can feel it too.

BALINK
So, we going in?

YAELA
I’m not sure if that’s wise…

BALINK
But it goes on for miles, can’t see the edge!

VURIETH
Balink is right, travelling around could take days.

LAETHAR
Not to mention it would mean wading through swamp.

AIOLIN
And as always, our rations are not that forgiving. Not much to hunt out here either. But in there we could be more lucky.

YAELA
I understand all that, it’s just… I can’t tell what kind of place this is. And that bothers me. But, you’re right. I suppose we’ll have to cross through.

LAETHAR
We’ll be on our guard. Let’s go.

[The forest is calm, their voices echo strangely.]

BALINK
This place is mad…

VURIETH
It is remarkable…

AIOLIN
So peaceful…

YAELA
It’s breathtaking…

LAETHAR
I must say, it is a rather pleasant unexpected detour.

YAELA
Oh my!

LAETHAR
What is it?

YAELA
Those. Look by our feet! I have never seen these here before!

VURIETH
Goodness… those are rare treasures.

AIOLIN
Perhaps we should take them.

YAELA, VURIETH
[simultaneously] Of course not!

BALINK
Funny looking stuff, though. You don’t usually find compounds like these in this part of the world.

YAELA
Don’t touch it!

LAETHAR
You’re telling me. Gailicalcum. I thought it was all lost beneath the Nara.

AIOLIN
Weren’t we meant to be going somewhere?

LAETHAR
Right. Yes. Pressing on then. Yaela, do you think you could scout for some food?

YAELA
Of course. These trees are just like home.

[She moves off.]

VURIETH
I did not know trees like this would grow in the Fae Realm.

AIOLIN
Well, the Fae Realm crosses our world in a lot of different places. Those places are then echoed into the Fae so it makes sense it would be quite diverse in there.

BALINK
Bit dark for a Fae place though, isn’t it?

AIOLIN
A little dim perhaps.

VURIETH
It is just light enough.

LAETHAR
I don’t know what you mean. I can see perfectly well.

BALINK
You all got better eyesight than I gave you credit for.

[The forest rustles peacefully in the evening.]

VURIETH
Can anyone tell which way the sun will be setting?

LAETHAR
I am not sure. Why?

VURIETH
I would like to try a starlight spell, but I need to pull from the night sky to cast it.

BALINK
Shouldn’t it be getting dark by now?

LAETHAR
Looks like it is.

AIOLIN
What are you talking about?

LAETHAR
Do you not think so?

AIOLIN
The sun’s still up. Look!

BALINK
See, that’s what I’m on about!

LAETHAR
But that’s not right. The sun should have been setting by now.

VURIETH
That is unsettling…

[Laethar takes a deep breath.]

LAETHAR
Although…

AIOLIN
Although?

LAETHAR
There were once places like this. The Iaunavorn.

AIOLIN
Are you talking about the Permanence Effect?

BALINK
Huh?

AIOLIN
Like Laethar said, they were places where time acted differently to everywhere else. A moment could last for hours, you could spend a day inside one while a week passed beyond. Some of them were so powerful that they could even seem to halt the sun.

VURIETH
That is… a little unnerving.

LAETHAR
No, they were wonderful. They were places of peace and tranquillity. The elven mages used to use them for meditation. They could escape the world beyond inside them, you see, and contemplate matters without interruption. No noises in the shadows, just peace and quiet and calm.

AIOLIN
I didn’t think there were any left.

LAETHAR
Neither did I. After the War, they all stopped working.

BALINK
Not all of ’em, looks like.

LAETHAR
Indeed. Yaela?

[Yaela runs to join them.]

YAELA
Quick, follow me. I found a river. It’s so beautiful, you have to see.

[The water laps gently at the riverbanks.]

YAELA
Spirits but it’s good to finally get a nice rest.

LAETHAR
Agreed.

BALINK
But didn’t we need to go somewhere?

AIOLIN
It’s fine. This is a Permanence Zone, remember? We can relax here as long as we like and it’ll still be the same time when we leave.

[Vurieth mutters incantations and water splashes.]

YAELA
Oh good! You have your magic working again!

BALINK
Well done!

LAETHAR
Excellent. Well, perhaps a little peace and serenity was what you needed.

VURIETH
[uncertain] Y-yes. Perhaps.

[The others lay back and relax.]

BALINK
What’s up?

VURIETH
That should not have worked. It didn’t work! That spell failed, I felt it die in my hand… or perhaps I only felt that because that was what I expected would happen? Perhaps I am overthinking?

BALINK
I mean… maybe?

VURIETH
I’ll try again. Caelitelum!

[Fire crackles in their hands.]

AIOLIN
[cheerfully] Showing off now you can do it all again?

VURIETH
No, nothing like that.

LAETHAR
I do not think we will be requiring that fire, Ashlander. The forest is quite warm enough.

[Vurieth puts out the fire.]

VURIETH
That should not have worked either. Fulgur’Ro!

[A bolt of lightning showers the river with sparks.]

BALINK
Ooh!

AIOLIN
Very impressive.

YAELA
We’re all delighted that you are feeling well again. Why don’t you come and take a rest with us here?

VURIETH
No! This is not right! That magic failed, that spell backfired just as it did the last time. Can’t you see? My arm is – is…

BALINK
You alright?

LAETHAR
There is nothing wrong with your arm, Ashlander.

VURIETH
But it burns…

YAELA
You are hurt?

VURIETH
Yes! I felt it! I felt the lightning bolt spark in my hand and ricochet back into my skin. I felt it stinging my veins and I felt it explode inside my arm.

YAELA
Are you sure, Vurieth? You look perfectly fine to me.

VURIETH
I know, I know. Even I can’t see the marks.
[Their voices stops echoing.]
Wait, that’s it!

LAETHAR
Vurieth?

AIOLIN
What is it?

VURIETH
I can’t see the marks! From earlier too! They are all gone! My arm should be burned up! Blistered! Yaela, you tended the wounds, you saw them! Just a few hours ago!

YAELA
I suppose… But that was a long time ago. Wasn’t it?

VURIETH
I am sorry. I am so sorry, everyone. You all deserve a rest. But I do not believe this is what you think it is.

AIOLIN
What?

BALINK
But…

VURIETH
I know. I am sorry, my little friend. But this is not a sacred resting place. My magic has not returned to normal and, Yaela, we are nowhere near the Fae. This place is just trying to make us think we are.

YAELA
What?

LAETHAR
But… it feels so –

VURIETH
I know. But we have to ignore it.

AIOLIN
Ignore it! But, look –

VURIETH
My friend, please just trust me.

AIOLIN
I… alright, I do. But I think you’re seeing things that aren’t there.

VURIETH
Well, if I’m wrong, we can all laugh about it later.

BALINK
Okay, so… how do we get out?

VURIETH
By actually trying to leave. No more distractions. No matter how wonderful or familiar. No matter how much these plants smell like the deserts of home, and the air tastes of warm sand. We simply make sure we are determined to go.

[The forest shifts, the tone turns from friendly to unnerving. All of the party’s voices cease echoing.]

BALINK
What was that?

AIOLIN
Everything looks different…

VURIETH
I think we are now seeing the truth of this place.

YAELA
… Let’s go.

LAETHAR
Yaela. Do not turn around.

YAELA
Why…?

LAETHAR
Just trust me. Stand up and follow us out.

YAELA
Alright… is there a creature –

LAETHAR
No, nothing like that. Hurry, please.

BALINK
Laethar…

LAETHAR
What is it?

BALINK
There’s more.

YAELA
More what?

LAETHAR
Just, walk towards me. No, do not look!

YAELA
Laethar, you’re starting to scare me.

LAETHAR
Just, over those rocks. Yes. Good, now let’s all move.

AIOLIN
There aren’t any real paths anymore. Shall we just pick a direction and walk?

VURIETH
I think that may be wise. Continue walking in as straight a line as possible, that should take us to the outskirts.

BALINK
There’s another one!

LAETHAR
Balink, don’t you look either!

VURIETH
Oh no…

YAELA
What is it? What are you all seeing?! Oh… oh no…

BALINK
You think… you think they tried to find a way out too?

VURIETH
Perhaps. Or they didn’t realise this was a trap until it was too late.

AIOLIN
Blood. There are dozens of them…

VURIETH
We must have been walking right by them, all this time.

LAETHAR
Gods above and below! It’s almost every tree!

YAELA
Shouldn’t we cut them down? We could bury them?

BALINK
What, all of em? I don’t much fancy traipsing all the way through this place looking for every body we might’ve missed so far.

LAETHAR
Balink is right. There is nothing we can do for them now. They’re beyond the reach of this place. We need to find our own way out.

[At the edge of the forest, the party moves faster.]

YAELA
Quickly, just this way!

BALINK
Woah, watch out!

[They skid to a halt.]

LAETHAR
Balink, what are you doing? I’d like to leave the forest, if you don’t mind!

VURIETH
Look. It’s a solid cliff face.

LAETHAR
What? How?

AIOLIN
Not sure I care right now, let’s just get out now while we can.

YAELA
Right, come on, follow me.

[They continue moving along.]

YAELA
Look, there’s the road!

LAETHAR
Oh thank the gods.

VURIETH
I knew we could not have gone that far.

AIOLIN
But where are we?

LAETHAR
As soon as we can see anything past this rock, I’ll tell you.

[Balink scurries past.]

LAETHAR
Hey!

BALINK
I can see. It’s mountains. We’ve reached the mountains!

AIOLIN
The Pass of Imradil?

BALINK
I dunno… could be.

LAETHAR
Yes! This is it!

YAELA
The forest must have brought us here!

VURIETH
Yes indeed… where has it gone?

LAETHAR
Did you lose your wits, Ashlander? It’s…

AIOLIN
How… what?

BALINK
It’s gone!

YAELA
It can’t be! We all saw it… didn’t we?

BALINK
Hang on.

[He taps on the rock.]

AIOLIN
Balink, what are you doing?

BALINK
Well I wanted to check that the mountain was real!

LAETHAR
Of course it’s real.

BALINK
Hey, we all thought the forest was real!

AIOLIN
That’s a fair point.

LAETHAR
Well, perhaps.

YAELA
But these must be the Ilorodrim Mountains.

LAETHAR
Yes, they are. There’s no doubt in that.

[Dice roll and clatter at the gaming table.]

GAME MASTER
You follow the path through the Mountain Pass, feeling confused but glad that you were able to get through the strange forest more or less intact.

MATT
Yeah, I’m all in favour of finding somewhere to rest soon. I am very low on spells.

ROSIE
And I really need a rest.

WILL
What? Why? None of us took any damage. It was just a puzzle.

ROSIE
I saw the fracturing of the Fae, dude! I need a minute!

WILL
[confused] … Alright.

GAME MASTER
Well, don’t get comfortable just yet.

LEAH
Oh, god.

GAME MASTER
Because, as you travel through the Imradil Pass, with the setting sun in your eyes, you hear a monstrous roar echoing through the mountains around you.

ROSIE
Oh yay.

GAME MASTER
And that’s where we’ll leave it for this week.

PLAYERS
What?

GAME MASTER
Yes, we have run out of time for today. Join us again, next time.

[The end theme plays and the Announcer recites the credits]